Spousal secret stash

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zeroshiki
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Joined: Thu May 27, 2021 3:11 am

Re: Spousal secret stash

Post by zeroshiki »

Was waiting for the オチ at the end. MM doesn't disappoint :lol:
captainspoke
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Re: Spousal secret stash

Post by captainspoke »

From NYT:
4 Mistakes Couples Make When Discussing Money
Therapists share the secrets to a drama-free money chat.

April 5, 2024, 5:04 a.m. ET

I like talking to my husband about a lot of things, but money isn’t one of them. Most of our conversations about spending go something like this: We lament our credit card balances. We grumble about child care costs. Then we retreat until the next bill arrives or tax season shines a bright, unsparing light on our finances — as it is right now.

... In one small study, married couples reported their money-related disagreements tended to be more intense than arguments about other topics, and were less likely to be resolved. ...

I chatted with Ms. Knight and other therapists who work with couples on money issues about some common communication missteps.

Mistake 1: Assuming you have the same values
...

Mistake 2: Not checking in

Often, one partner in a relationship becomes the default money manager, ...

Couples should schedule regular sit-downs or “money meetings” to briefly check in on how things are going and prepare for any big decisions or expenditures coming up. Do not attempt to discuss everything about your finances in one session; ...

Mistake 3: Letting difficult conversations fizzle

Because financial conversations can escalate into arguments, couples sometimes — wisely — drop the subject to decompress, ...

But instead of intentionally returning to the topic — perhaps a debate about spending versus saving — later, they ignore it until the issue comes up again. ...

Mistake 4: Focusing only on scarcity

... But when possible, she thinks couples should inject some playfulness into their financial conversations.

For example: Twice a year, Dr. McCoy and her husband buy a Powerball ticket and spend a date night talking about what they would do if they won. ...

“I really do think it’s a huge mistake to only talk about scarcity — where we should cut, how we should budget,” Dr. McCoy said. “You can learn so much from having those positive, playful conversations.”
captainspoke
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Posts: 1413
Joined: Tue Aug 15, 2017 9:44 am

Re: Spousal secret stash

Post by captainspoke »

Maybe another reason not to have all of the eggs in the same basket:

https://www.reddit.com/r/japanlife/comm ... need_help/


It wouldn't have been everything, but early last fall I was nearly scammed by an apparent AirBnB email. Somehow they knew about a reservation I had made, and a week or two before our stay the email was asking for payment 'so that it wouldn't be canceled'. I fell for it, and tried to pay, but thankfully the card company blocked payment.
TJKansai
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Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2021 1:38 am

Re: Spousal secret stash

Post by TJKansai »

I had an email ostensibly from someone who I know well. I regularly have financial dealings with him, so the modest request sounded legit at first.

The wording was a bit off, though, and he confirmed that someone had spoofed his account.

Also had a spoofed request for emergency cash from a friend who travels a lot. The story was she lost her wallet in Turkey and needed $300 in emergency support. I actually went to Western Union but they said no to the transfer, fortunately.

It is these reasonable amounts which can sucker you in I think.

Sometimes these spoofed accounts of someone you trust will send you something that looks like a legit pdf invoice, but it is really spyware, so having some kind of security software is a good idea.
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